New [Fail] Years

Fails.  My year’s had a lot of them.  So.  Many.  Fails.

It happens every year:  a new one begins and you’re all doped up on energy and goals and optimism.  But we all know very well by now that it never is meant to last.  Same thing is true in the kitchen:  you begin with lots of new and exciting ideas for grapefruit martinis and pies on a stick.  I know you all think I’m a little wacky…  But this year?  This year I even wacked myself out.

I was this close to posting this recipe.  Blueberry, Honey & Lavender Pancakes.  Sounded terrific to me…  Still sorta does.  But these?  I just don’t know what happened.  I made this recipe over and over and over again and could never get it right.  They tasted like cardboard flowers.  Maybe I’ll finally get it right in 2014.

I tried to make a Healthy Mixed Berry Apple Bread with Greek Yogurt once.  And then I lost the recipe.  This happened way to many times.

I thought it would be an excellent idea to make Pumpkin Gingerbread Pie on a Stick.  It wasn’t.  I can’t even show you the photograph.  You’d never follow this blog again.  The only thing I could possibly compare my oven to is the Cave of Wonders lava scene in Aladdin.  And we all know how that turned out.

My Eggnog Angel Food Cake idea?  I just…  I just can’t relish my disappointment in this recipe.  I thought it was the best.  idea.  ever.  Almond milk, nutmeg, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves.  It was all there.  Too bad the cake didn’t rise.  I thought ”Well maybe if I just mixed it longer…”  Nope.  ”Well maybe if I used loaf pans instead…”  Nope. ”Well, maybe if I…”  Nope.  FAIL.

Pumpkin & Avocado Quick Bread?  It sounded good in my head.  Words of the wise:  Don’t mix pumpkin and avocado.  What an awful, awful mess.

I attempted to make Tempeh Bacon one time.  That was fun.

Oh.  And so many cookie fails I couldn’t possibly post them all.

So you see?  I fooled you.  I fooled the lot of you.  I’m not perfect, though I appear to be perfectly so.  Embrace your flaws…  Because even though they can be pretty ugly, most of the time they are still tasty.

Happy New Year.

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